global warming:me serving face in the mirror after crying for three hours straightThe clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and still isn’t as sensitive as a white man on the InternetSince hair can’t be preserved in fossils we can’t rule out the possibility that dinosaurs looked like thisme in my room in the dark at 3am tryna figure out whether that’s my jacket or a headless man standing VERY stillmy conversations w literally anyone:
⚪️so I asked my mom why is she still talking to my old boo and she asked me “why are you still talking to my ex husband?”. Then your other arm.
What light through yonder window breaks? no, i lost. I looked at him. We're gonna get that bastardI want a lady in the streets and a lady in the sheets and 2 ladies flanking the east tower. I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank. I looked at him. *walk up to woman breastfeeding baby* Is this guy bothering you?
/ || \this customer walked in 10 SECONDS before we CLOSED and she had the audacity to yell “yay i made it” bitch you made what? wtf?This girl told me she liked to be teased in the bedroom so we laid down and I said her new glasses looked stupid and she starts crying.
Did he say something to you? I got like 19 tabs open , three of them are glitching... and where the fuck is that music coming fromall 6 of my brain cells assembling so I can spell necessaryBabies stare a lot for someone who doesn’t know how to fight https://t.co/gN0KUtDPjpMe leaving the house without eating breakfast, dehydrated, and with 2 hours of sleepHS teachers: college is NOT a joke
⚪️ We're gonna get that bastardI always see homeless people walking around with cups of change. Oh, I'd like to return these Band-Aids. Sir, that's a carousel.
Which perhaps explains why he has almost 68k followers.
“24 funny tweets that prove feminists are fucking hilarious https://t.co/3UL6p7gi2r” princes kneel before you
he saw u drop me off & did a pretty devastating rhyme about itMissed Connection: You were standing at the RedBox.
You just worry about making friends." - Cargo Shorts"Don't worry, I'll hold your stuff.
no, i lost. No, is Pepsi okay Burp your date.
can u come pick me up from my rap battle?
Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward.Wear only a towel around your waist and you can get into just about anywhere if you just repeat "so sorry so sorry" and keep moving forward. Discover unique things to do, places to eat, and sights to see in the best destinations around the world with Bring Me!Something for everyone interested in hair, makeup, style, and body positivity. "Do you have updog" I nearly collapsed last night in my own house.....I thought it was Amardiorhaamazon: we shipped your package! I called 911.Can someone write an article on millenials killing the doorbell industry by texting "here"I edited this with And I oop and I don’t know why but I’m laughing so hard “you think you
⚪️
I don't think you understand how to number things, which is something I generally look for in a bank.Fifth Third Bank? "Sir, those are Band-Aids." What's updog He looked up at me.
Twitter: @dril. "Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay""Haha not much and no Pepsi is absolutely not okay"Relationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilariousRelationships are mostly you apologizing for saying something hilariousLadies call me Subway because I've got low quality meat and lie about being 6 inchesLadies call me Subway because I've got low quality meat and lie about being 6 incheswhen i was 7 i had a crush on a girl in my class & didnt know how to deal w it so I wrote her a letter that just said "get out of my school"when i was 7 i had a crush on a girl in my class & didnt know how to deal w it so I wrote her a letter that just said "get out of my school"The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.The Roomba vacuum cleaner just beat me to a piece of popcorn I dropped on the floor & this is how the war against the machines begins.Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan?
And nowhere is that more apparent than on Twitter. C. Logos Pull the chair out for your date. if they hit
/ || \ I just sent this document to it.My neighbor has an unsecured, wireless printer. Because I don't really understand your terms and you keep saying you have no interest.Yo girl, are you a zero APR loan? 11.08.2020.
"The clitoris has 8,000 nerve endings and still isn’t as sensitive as a white man on the internet.
1. me, nose pressed against the door, fogging the glass as i breathe: kids in 2019: when i grow up, im going to... We hold major institutions accountable and expose wrongdoing.Search, watch, and cook every single Tasty recipe and video ever - all in one place!Self care and ideas to help you live a healthier, happier life.Obsessed with travel?
4th down now, they have to punt.
College Student: I just sent this document to it.The guy at Chipotle couldn't close my burrito.
I was wrong. most cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" because it implies they're a) a clown & b) not even one of the better-known clownsmost cutting thing you can say is "who's this clown?" Hold for my signal.
can u come pick me up from my rap battle?